-I was born
Then I wed
Nagging wife
Now I'm dead!

-Roosevelt, Franklin Delano (1882-1945)
"I have a terrific headache."

-Thomas, Dylan (1914-1953)
"I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row. I do believe that is a record."

-Here lies Lester Moore.
Four slugs
From a forty-four.
No Less No More.

-He was young
He was fair
But the Injuns
Raised his hair

-Here lays Butch.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

-Here lies the body
Of Margaret Bent
She kicked up her heels
And away she went.

-Rebecca Freeland 1741
She drank good ale,
good punch and wine
And lived to the age of 99.

-On a Coal-miner
Gone Underground For Good

-Here lies the body
of John Round.
Lost at sea
and never found.
Belturbet, Ireland

-Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
December 8, 1767
London, England

-She lived with her husband for 50 years
And died in the confident hope of a better life.
Burlington, Vermont

-They abounded in riches
But she wore the britches ...
Essex, England

-I put my wife beneath this stone
For her repose and for my own.
Middlebury, Vermont

-Here lies Pa.
Pa liked wimin.
Ma caught Pa in with two swimmin.
Here lies Pa.

-Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
Uniontown, PA.

-Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising